Inscription on the tomb of a violinist: When Orpheus played he moved Old Nick,But when you played you made us sick. Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh, 1990
Robert Burns’s Epitaph
Robert Burns died on July 21, 1796 at his home in Dumfries. He was only 37 years old but despite his years left a mark like no other poet in the soul of his nation. Consigned to earth, here rests the lifeless clay, Which once a vital spark from heaven inspired! The lamp of genius... Continue Reading →
Funny Scottish Epitaphs: Latin Rhymer
Here lies the Laird O' Lundie Sic transit gloria mundi. Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh, 1990
Funny Scottish Epitaphs: the zealous locksmith
A zealous locksmith dy'd of late And did arrive at heaven's gate, He stood without and would not knock, Because he meant to pick the lock. Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh, 1990
Funny Scottish Epitaph: the auntie from Crail, Fife
Here lies my good and gracious Auntie, Wham Death has packed in his portmanty, Threescore and ten years did God gift her, And here she lies, wha de'il daurs lift her? Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh, 1990
Funny Scottish Epitaphs: buried in a girnal
Here lies an old woman wrapt in her linen, Mother to James and Thomas Binnen; Who for want of a coffin was buried in a girnal (meal-chest), The earth got the shell, and the De'il got the kernal. Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh, 1990
Funny Scottish Epitaphs: Jocky Bell o’ Brankenbrow
I, Jocky Bell o' Brachenbrow, lyes under this stane, Five of my awn sons laid it on my wame (stomach); I liv'd aw my days, but sturt (trouble) or strife Was man o' my meat, and maister o' my wife; If you've done better in your time than I did in mine Take the stane... Continue Reading →
Famous Scottish Epitaphs: Elspeth Pye
Here lye I, Elspeth Pye four and twenty bairns, gudeman and I. Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh, 1990
Funny Scottish Epitaph: Oakfield Chopper
The Lord saw good, I was looping off wood And down fell from the tree. I met with check and broke my neck, And so death lopped off me. Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh, 1990
Funny Scottish Epitaphs: To Daisy at Dingwall
Farewell, thou little blooming bud Just bursting into flower. Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh, 1990
Graveyards of Scotland 
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