funny Scottish epitaphs - Mr Knott from Perth Here lies a man who was Knott born; His father was Knott before him. He lived Knott, and he did Knott die, Yet underneath this stone doth lie. Knott christened, Knott begot. And here he lies, and yet was Knott. Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh,1990
sudden death oddly brought on
Here lies alas! poor Roger Norton, Whose sudden death was odly brought on! Trying one day his corns to mow off, The razor slipped and cut his toe off! The toe, or rather what it grew to, The part then took to mortifying. Which was the cause of Roger's dying. From a Churchyard near Greenock... Continue Reading →
a captain’s sense of romance
Here we lie in a horizontal position like a Ship laid up, stripped of her sails and rigging. St Andrews Cathedral Churchyard On a Ship's Captain and his Wife Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh,1990
death by pownie
Here lies a man o' micht, His name was Donald Downie: He lost his life ae market nicht By fa'in aff his pownie. Aged 37 years Cullen Graveyard, Banffshire Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Chambers, Edinburgh,1990
on an empty grave
Here lies Nothing. The impious Resurrectionist At night dared to invade This quiet spot, and upon it Successful inroads made. And when to relatives the fact Distinctly did appear. The stone was placed to tell the world, There's Nothing resting here. A headstone placed on a grave where a snatched body should have been.... Continue Reading →
fertile farmer
Alexander Gray at Eyrie, Aberdeenshire, a tenant at Mill of Burne Died in the 96th year of his age, Having had 32 legitimate children by two wives Hamish Brown: A Scottish Graveyard Miscellany. Birlinn, Edinburgh; 2008
always missed
funny Scottish epitaphs - the Milton Rifle Club Erected in respect of David Dawson By fellow members of the Milton Rifle Club Honorary president for eighteen years 'Always missed' Hamish Brown: A Scottish Graveyard Miscellany. Exploring the Folk Art of Scotland's Gravestones. Birlinn; 2008
Scottish epitaph fail
Erected to the memory of John McFarlane Drown'd in the Water of Leith By a few affectionate friends Hamish Brown: A Scottish Graveyard Miscellany. Exploring the Folk Art of Scotland's Gravestones. Birlinn; 2008
Dunsyre
In an vault underneath Lie several of the Saunderses Late of this parish - particulars The last day will disclose. Amen. Raymond Lamont-Brown: Scottish Epitaphs. Edinburgh, Chambers; 1990
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